Naughty-ish Thursday: My First Time
We never forget the first time. People often describe their first time as magical, something that they would treasure forever. I honestly don’t see it that way.
First time can be traumatic. Nothing prepares you for it, it doesn’t matter how much porn we’ve watched (yeah people, we all have watched porn, so breathe).
When the moment comes you always ask yourself what should you do, what is expected from you and it is also embarrassing.
Cherry Popping
Let me tell you about my first time.
I was about 19 I think (I know, some people experience their first time earlier in life, but I’m glad it happened when it happened. Glad is not the word, but let’s say it is), I was living in Chelsea, NYC. It was a 2 bedroom apartment, mine was next to the bathroom and my roommate’s was next to mine, but he had to cross the hallway to go to the bathroom.
This roommate is my best friend, it was the one and only roommate I’ve ever had.
It was a warm summer night, humidity was disgustingly high, body all sweaty, you know the usual.
I saw my cellphone, 2:45am (yes I remember the time), I went to the bathroom without turning the light on, saw the roommate’s door open and a flickering light. I was sleepy, I knew he had gone out and didn’t hear him coming back.
Like Caroline, I went towards the light.
I walked into his room to turn the computer off (the light was coming from the computer).
I tripped on something, woke up when I heard “What the fuck Leo?!” The thing I tripped on was the person my roommate was screwing that night. I was frozen, couldn’t move, I looked down and saw it all.
“You are gross!!” I said. “Jesus help me, take my eyes off!”
That was my first time walking in on someone having sex.
Brilliant twist at the end!
Was that Chelsea London or New York?
Good call, that’s Chelsea, NYC.
Hope it was your last!
Sadly it wasn’t.
laughing.. good one Leo.
Glad you liked it
Yep – that kind of “first time” would be difficult to put out of your mind! Hilarious to hear about now but I imagine rather traumatic for YOU at the time……
Pam
I haven’t recovered from that one, sadly was not going to be the last.
Yikes…that’s the kind of experience someone should only have once. You do live on the edge Leo !!
Pam
Wonder who was more surprised? Guessing the one being tripped over was somewhat less delighted than yourself
Of course, and probably hurt too lol
“You are gross!!” Haha! That must have been horrible! My walking-in-on-someone-having-sex cherry has yet to be popped. I like my cherry. I want to keep it un-popped.
Keep it safe, is your treasure.
Hahaha “take my eyes off”. Poor, Leo.
Is in those moments when you become really religious.
Haaaa haaaaaa Oh that could only happen to you..So funny..:) xx0xx
Mollie and Alfie
Awkward moments are with me since I can remember.
Well, at least it wasn’t your parents, otherwise this would probably only have been revealed on Post Secrets.
My parents don’t do that, Sex? My parents??!! What are you talking about?
Ohh Lord, the very thought!
I’d die.
My parents have had sex exactly four times.
People would suggest that mine had done it twice, but I refuse to believe it.
I agree with rossmurray1… it wasn’t the parents….I like the punch line at the end
)
I would died right there.
Ha, good one! I don’t recall ever walking in on anyone doing it but I did have a college roommate that had no problem quietly doing it with her bf in our room. I am sure if I returned the favor with the woman I was seeing it would have been a holy shit storm of her homophobia. My apartment has a shared wall. I have heard quite a few of the revolving door of neighbors through the years conjugating the verb through it. This has prompted me to press the mute button on my own intimacies when I know the neighbor is in.
This was not the only time it happened, during sex yes, the afterglow it happened twice and once, a Sunday, it was already late, his door was cracked open, we used to wake up wach other in a really rude way when it was already after 11am. So I followed the drill, I saw someone on bed which I assumed was him, I grabbed the blanker, yelling “Wake up you lazy bastard!!”, under the blanket a the naked tanned body of a guy. I never saw that guy again lol.
It sounds like both of you got punked.
You bet.
Every generation thinks it invented sex.
I was planted by the Lord, no sex in there.
I hope that you … have passed … that gross stage. *smile
In Sweden we are very liberal – kids sleeps with their naked parents … I don’t think there is any minor that haven’t seen their parents naked. So we know that our parents have sex and we don’t mind .. good for them. *smile
I think my parents had sex to make me, but never again.
Now seriously, we would go to nude beaches when I was a kid and all, so that’s normal, but walking in on your parents having sex should leave long lasting scars in your eyes lol
Come on … you can’t be serious – if you walked in on your parents that means they had sex twice *smile
That’s what people want me to believe because I have a brother, but I honestly think he is adopted.
*laughing …. your are bunkers mad. Of course your parent had sex.
Viveka, they didn’t!
I gotta find those adoption papers.
Maybe it’s the postman or the milkman ???? Or the poolguy. !!!!
You read my mind, cuz I was going to say my brother doesn’t looks like my mom or dad. Your theory fits lol
I hope for your mum’s enjoyment that is was the poolguy *smile .. milkmen and postmen are not that hot. I hope you will tell me when you have found out the truth. Can’t wait .. *smile
Clever
Thanks Maryanne.
Leo you are a scoundrel of unprecedented magnititude and a funny one too! Cordially Nancy
Glad you liked it Nancy
Oh, poor you! This is one thing that never happened to me and I hope it never does. Somehow, I have this idea that sex is great only if I have it. The very thought I might watch someone having sex is very disturbing. Aren’t I weird?
)))
Same here, is just weird. The noises creep me out, all the ohhh yeah, uhmmm, lower, faster, ummmmhhhh. No thanks.
I, thankfully, have yet to do that.
I hope you never experience it.
Me too.
LOL Did you say, can I join you?
Lord no!!!!
Kill me!!
Walking in on someone is always an interesting experience. I was lucky enough to have my freshman college roommate put a sheet around her bed because she and her boyfriend were constantly in her bed and didn’t care if I was in the room. YUCK!
I’m old fashion, I don’t like an audience. Some people enjoy to put on shows, I like it quiet or wild but me and 1 more, that’s it.
Better you than me, partner! ‘Nuff said!
I wish I could say the same.
You had me going…
Well played, sir.
Glad you enjoyed it.
I was 17. I didn’t know what a hanger on the door meant… I DIDN’T KNOW! *sob*
You never do forget your first time. I consider myself lucky to have had decent enough roommates who didn’t have sex in the common areas of our apartment, but I had upstairs neighbors who were insanely loud and had sex a LOT. I felt like telling the guy that the girl was obviously faking, because I’m pretty sure she was. And they annoyed me so much that I wanted to be petty and bitchy. Good times.
Madame, you remind me of my college days. A buddy of mine lived on the 2nd floor of a prototypical northern Chicago small building, with a second building (the old coach house for the horses and groomsmen) in back. On the second floor of the rear building lived a rather nubile young lady with a revolving-door policy on boyfriends. Her bedroom window faced the back room of my buddy’s flat, and she had a large fan in the window as her apartment lacked A/C. Two key problems – when a fan is running, the blades no longer block the view, and since the fan blew to the outside, it carried the voices QUITE nicely. We’d take a break from our D&D sessions to enjoy the live show, then go back to the game. Role-playing gaming AND live entertainment in one convenient package!
God, I miss those days……
So if it was that gross to look at, does that mean they were doing it wrong?
Or oh so very very right?
Perfectly twisted!
You are a tease!
LOL Leo, you really had me going, I was reading but hesitantly. Still have that particular cherry myself.
But the fact that you tripped on him, didn’t he have a bed or were they playing barnyard?
Oh, you tease!! Damn, that was good though. Brilliant, Leo!
Haha. At least you kept your eyes!
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