Who Dresses The Pope?
So there we were, Joe and me enjoying a coffe at the newly renovated Mater Ecclesiae where he is gonna expend the rest os his days.
Joe enjoying the Italian country side
Joe, I said, who dresses the new Pope?
And how do you guys know the correct size of the new pope’s clothes and shoes?
I mean, even shoes!!
He smiled and spat the coffee on my face, called me heretic, called security and I was kicked out the monastery, while Joe kept yelling ”this what you get for harassing me on twitter you lifeless moron”.
I’m not a mormon I said.
Moron, you idiot! He sweetly said back to me.
So because Joe, didn’t answer my questions I’m forced to come up with my own explanations, which are equally valid and reliable.
I was going to do a little research but got really tired, but I’ll present you with a few theories, please be my guest and correct any of them by presenting sufficient proof.
First: We all know the church is filthy rich, so it wouldn’t surprise me if they order Mr. Prada to send them 80 pairs of Dorothy Red shoes for all the 80 candidates and do the same with the red cape and all the accessories but let’s be honest, they like gold more than a rapper. And what about the ring? Is that made on site? Because when he goes to the balcony to say hello he has the ring already.
There’s no place like home
Second: Do they have elves to make the shoes and clothes on site as soon as they know who the new pope is?
Working Elves during the Conclave
Third: Does the new pope wears the old Pope’s clothes and with some fixed until he has his own done?
There’s a problem with used clothes
Fourth: All candidates are require to buy before hand a set of Pope uniform before the conclave just in case they are elected? And if so, does the church refunds them if they are not elected or they can wear those clothes for casual Friday?
A casual dress, like any other
Fifth: Is the conclave a big get together, a huge party and they fool us into believe that they are actually electing someone when he has been previously elected? This would explain how the new pope gets dressed so quickly.
Celebrate!!!
Is “elves” some weird church metaphor for something?
I had written fairies and then changed to elves, both could be used a metaphor lol
that’s a very good question…. maybe all candidates need a special body mass index ? and for the shoes I hope they don’t use the “cinderella-way” via knife or axe – but maybe that’s the reason why the shoes are red?
You have risen yet another question Easy, good one!
Good question. We bet you’re right on the mark with Prada.
The Devil Wears Prada
Perhaps Pope-clothes come in “one size fits all”……or there was a tailor standing by with a load of safety pins to adjust the fit on the old Pope’s clothes for the new Pope…..so many questions go unanswered!
Pam
One Size Fits all is also plausible, but what about the shoes?
Sixth: The whole thing could be viewed from the opposite perspective. It is possible that it is not the clothes that gets adjusted to the elected pope. There might exist only one set of clothes and shoes and that cardinal is elected who fits them. Thus, the pope might be adjusted to the one and only Pope-outfit.
That’s also true, then before they know the Pope is gonna die or announces his retirement all cardinals get on diets to fit on the soon to be ex pope’s clothes. Interesting theory.
I think he probably had a whole bunch of those clips running up the back of the dress, like they have on the “Say Yes To The Dress” episodes, to pretend that the dress fits. That’s why he didn’t move too much, so he wouldn’t go “klang!” xoxoM
hahahahahaha
good one Margarita, I can’t wait to see that show on Oxygen or Life lol
My favourite sentence is: “they like gold more than a rapper”. Been laughing so hard. You are right with everything you say. I just miss purple, the colour made from sea snails, the violett stuff Ex-Benedict is wearing on the photo. Used t be only for kings, popes and lipstick.
They do like bling!
Does the pope wear lipstick?
One could say that, he wears at least ingredients.
Well, you certainly have to have a thing about frocks if you’re going to get ahead at the Vatican. We’ve just found this great explanation of who can and can’t wear all of the lovely hats: http://animalcouriers.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/884414_448008385275976_1114819685_o.jpg
This will come soooooo handy for next posts.
Thanks!
I’m not too much bothered about the popes dress code – I think clothes wise they do – one size fit all .. shoes, they are in country of nice and well done shoes … *smile – those outfits cost mega bucks …. but it’s a very rich church and their people don’t get much from them .. so they have to spend their money on something.
I wonder if all of them get Glossy Boxes.
Those aren’t his original clothes. He was running late and got tripped up in the extravagent curtains on one of the pope windows, but didn’t have time to untangle himself before coming out in public. It was so outlandish it stuck.
That would explain the excessive amount of fabric
Yup. You’d think they’d get with the times, though. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pants or shirts. Much easier to take on and off.
Maybe they only have the one outfit that is never to be washed because they can’t have the ‘holiness’ being rinsed away
That would explain why they use incense when they walk around, to mask the odor.
So I read Pope Benedict had his red shoes made by his personal cobbler..
I think the Pope should just buy a pair of red tennies.
Red Converse, that’d be great.
Are you implying the elections are not for real and they already know who the pope is and the conclav meetings are just a pretext for them to look busy and for prada to have the costumes done but in fact they have hardcore parties in there while planet earth is on hold checking for the color of the smoke which might be from too much weed? bad bad doggy:))))
Rumor has it that the black smoke is due to burning hard drives with the pictures and videos of the parties the previous pope engaged in, Pope’s Gone Wild lol
Angels LOL
And Demons lol
I gather the new pope has been tweeting, hope he’ll be as receptive to your tweets as Benedict was:-)
I hope so too, I can twit him in Spanish, be like old time pals.
Message from Vatican to Leo,
Say 3 Our Fathers, 2 Hail Mary’s, and promise to sin no more my child!
P.S. I like the new Header very much!
Only 3? I like that punishment lol
And thanks, the doodle was the creation of Rara, a nice blogger.
this question has plagued me for minutes!
I hope I helped to clarify your doubts.
Haha, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into this! I think you might be onto something about the last point. They sure don’t lack for funds, but they probably know who’s going to be the pope a bit in advance right?
Man, you’ve got me curious now though, I wish I knew!
Rohan.