Let’s Talk Fashion Y’all!

Let’s talk fashion, shall we?

Fashion is sometimes painful, both to the body and to the eye.
Women throughout history and in all cultures definitely have endured (and still do endure) the worst of fashion.
Sadly, sometimes it’s only to meet the standards imposed by society of what it means to be “beautiful and desirable” to the male counterpart.

I agree!

I agree!

Often, women themselves are the creators and perpetrators of these methods of torture and are, of course, responsible for those fashion trends sticking around for longer than one day.
But this is not about judging how you dress — we are all free to wear whatever we want, right?
I won’t get into ancient cultural expressions of beauty such as:

-The neck rings worn by the Kayan women of Thailand:

-Or the Lotus Feet in China. That thing looks very painful. I honestly wouldn’t like to feel one of those feet touching me. It looks like chicken feet.

Ouch!

Ouch!

You may be thinking, “That’s just the Eastern world, people who live according to their older-than-dirt traditions.” Right?
Not so, my dear readeress (female reader). Please explain the corset, high heels and this atrocity:

I believe that Carmen Miranda was the one who started with those impossible to wear head arrangements (I have no idea what they are actually called). But hey! She was an actress, it was a character, and she was beautiful and talented.

Surely Carmen Miranda is also responsible for something else when it comes to fashion, and that’s the platform shoe. She was only 5ft tall, so she asked Ferragamo for a pair of platform shoes and bang! All women and drag queens wanted platform shoes too.  So basically they were orthopaedic shoes that became fashionable.

Wait, that's not a dragqueen, that¡s Nicki Minaj, she might as well be a dragqueen, she has the name already.

Wait, that’s not a drag queen, that’s Nicki Minaj. She might as well be a drag queen though, she has the name already.

Speaking of shoes, I’ve found a couple of models that I’d be more than glad to wear if they were my size.
First, the beautiful mole-inspired shoes. They look ideal for those cold winter days, and the color makes them easy to match with any dress, even pirate pants.

Work that mole!

Work that mole!

Then we have the hooves’ collection, perfect for the more wild, adventurous females (or males) that like to wear heels. Didn’t know what kind of shoes to take for that safari in Kenya?
Now you know, you are welcome!

You can gallop the catwalk

You can gallop the catwalk

And finally, a very special pair of shoes that I know my friend CJ over at  A Morgue Mouse will love, because chickens are people too!
Are you a chicken lover like Flea?
Fear no more, you can sport these beautiful heels made of 100% synthetic chicken feet.
This gives “chicken legs” a whole different meaning. You’ll feel sexy, empowered, and ready to go the extra mile.

Who is that sexy chick? They will ask

“Who is that sexy chick?” they will ask

That’s all from this corner. I should have a fashion column, I think I’m good at it.

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