The *bitter* Voice

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I usually stay away of reality shows, in general they are a waste of time. I watch them once in awhile to laugh and to look for inspiration for posts.

Hell's Kitchen?

Hell’s Chicken?

However, I somehow ended up watching The Voice, you know, the show where all it matters is the raw talent of the singers, auditions are blind, and…… that’s it.
It makes me sick like all other shows, see, when I first heard about the concept I thought it was cool.
Imagine, you can’t see who is singing, just judge based on the voice and cast your votes according to the talent of the person singing.
My ass!!
Turns out it’s the same crap.

Makes sense.

Makes sense.

Let me go over the things that bother me the most:

-Sad stories:

Poor Coccolino

Poor Coccolino and Bacon


We all have one, some sadder than others and it seriously sucks that people have to endure true misery in life.
The point is, it’s supposed to be The Voice not:
“My dad who died before I was born would be so proud if I make it on the show”. - No! Sorry to burst your bubble, but your dad, regardless of where he is, he didn’t have the chance to know you, he didn’t know you would sing, so please shut up, and thanks your step dad.

Talk about sad!!!

Talk about sad!!!

Or the:
We are so poor, we had to move from owning 2 cars to lease a Mercedes, so I wanna prove that people driving Mercedes can win” -Bitch, please!

The Drama!!!

The Drama!!!

Or what about the racial stereotypes:
“Oh I’m a latino, I wanna show people out there we can do something, the American dream.” -Hello! That’s what Shakira, Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek and Chita Rivera are there for.
Or:
“We were the only African American family in our neighborhood, I wanna show them we can move up in life.” -I’ve got 2 names for you, Oprah and Obama.

I don't see a Hispanic heart, I find it racist! Shame on you United Colors of Beneton.

I don’t see a Hispanic heart, I find it racist! Shame on you United Colors of Beneton.

-The Judges:
If the person singing is good they turn around and “fight” for him/her to be on their team. The judges make their plea and the singer decides whose team to join.

I believe it's mutual, let's hit the sheets.

I believe it’s mutual, let’s hit the sheets.

The judges make compelling statements like:
-“Ohh you are too cute, all these girls would vote for you” -Excuse me, wasn’t supposed to be all about The Voice?
-“Ohh I’m so sorry I didn’t turn, I was going to, now I regret I didn’t” -Ohh shut your pie hole! Give them a check for 5,000 bucks as an apology, that’ll make them happier.

And then, the competition starts and it’s no about the voice of course, because everybody can see their faces. It ends up being all about the cutest, or the one with the saddest story.

This is the only voice we like.

This is the only voice we like.

Would be nice is nobody could see them, if they would blur the singers like they do with boobs or when people flip the finger on TV.
Would be nice is the judges were mute.
Would be nice if I weren’t too biter.

What you think?

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