Did Doggy attend Oposum school?

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I often picture Doggy as a mischief free dog, but I’d be damned if that were true, he’s evil, but he knows how to play me. See, I never pay attention to Doggy when I leave or get home, never wanted to encourage any jumping or over excitement, but once in awhile when we get home and he has done something we look at him and call him Satan’s emissary, I’ve always thought that “punishing” him for something he did when I was out makes little sense, if I catch him I send him to his little corner, but once it’s done it’s done, I doubt he would associate my rage with what he has done. Anyhow, I now think that he makes a mess at home so he receives some sort of attention when we arrive, joke’s on him tho, I still ignore him, I pick up and let him be, but this dog is now pulling dirty tricks from under his fur, he now plays dead, yeah, he rolls the carpet like you see on the picture and when you get home he plays dead, he wouldn’t move at all, he loves a belly rub more than a treat but I suspect he went to opossum school when he lived at the country. Now I ask you, what would Jesus do?
I don’t know about Jesus, but I took him for a 40 minutes jog, he was a goner when we got home, I count my blessings, he doesn’t eat my sofa or the carpet, he just rearranges furniture and the carpet, his sense of style is wicked.