Entries for The Greatest Blog Contest of All Time.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I’m honored to present you the entries for the Greatest Blog Contest of All Time.
Please not that voting is NOT open yet, I’m doing this so you have time to read all the entries and pick your favorite, there are a lot of entries and all deserve to be read, I enjoyed reading every one of them.
Thanks to all the participants, you can be amicable to each other till the 15th when the voting starts, then you can go at each other throats.
Remember, if you don’t win the People’s Choice Award, there’s still a chance you can win the random, same award 2 chances, it cannot get any better. And if you don win you can always get something from Mollie and Stella nonMcCarntey’s Store.
As I said, she’s always putting out, let’s support our community, let’s support the people who keeps this thing moving. All home made and if you are not satisfied with the products you can bash me in here.
Now to what’s dire, the entries:
After successfully catching a catfish from the swamp, Mollie returned home to make her gumbo. She stirred the pot while knocking back a shot of Patron and accidentally elbowed in an extra garlic bulb. Oh well, she thought, at least that will keep the vamps away tonight!
I’m getting writer’s block because I can’t construct a sentence with Mollie, vamp, swamp, Patron and catfish in it.
A beautiful girl named Mollie
would become famous in holly
or something with wood I think
but Patron was her favorite drink.
Instead of being famous as a movie vamp
now she lives with a catfish in a swamp.
Molly the Swamp Vamp
Needed Patron to stay slim
Her fee was catfish
Sittin’ on the dock of the bay, sluggin’ Patron with Mollie when the evenin’ come…watchin’ the catfish ships roll in, no vamp comin’ my way, the swamp boats are hummin’ …just sittin’ on the dock of the bay, wastin’ time…
Mollie was a notorious vamp. After picking up a “customer” in the Catfish Bar on Bourbon Street, she promised him a night he’d never forget if he’d buy her a bottle of Patron. He did, they lurched out into the street, staggered down to the swamp, tumbled in and drowned.
Adjusting her the bandanna sport bra into place, Mollie sat in the swamp with her only friend: Catfish flavored Patron. Her face was turning an alarming shade of white, and not because of the tequila. The transition was happening, she’d be the first of her species, a vamp dog!
There once was a Collie called Mollie,
Blonde and ever so jolly.
After drinking Patron
She made Alfie groan
She behaved like a vamp
So he called her a tramp.
But her tears and remorse
Earned forgiveness of course
And they dined on swamp catfish and cauli.
“I suppose you do know that ‘vamp’ and ‘swamp’ don’t actually rhyme,” said the catfish wearily to Mollie, his poet friend whose fondness for Patron tequila was starting to get slightly out of hand, and threatening to have a negative affect on her creativity.
Mollie was a clothes shop owner who wanted to re-vamp her shop so one day she set to work on a design. After a bottle of Patron and two glasses of wine, she thought she had a winner, but unfortunately she woke up the next day to see she had turned the place into a swamp with a shoal of catfish.
Sweet Days Under the Oaks:
That vamp of a scamp Mollie Dog tried to take advantage of sweet Fuzz Face Alfie as he sipped a bit too much of that fancy Patron. She tried to sell him swamp land in Washington, DC with the promise it was filled with all the catfish he could eat.
My name is Mollie. My favorite past time is chugging Patron in the swamp, while catching cat fish. If I sound like your kind of vamp; call me.
2 Brown Dawgs:
Mollie The Vamp spends her days and nights hanging in the swamp drinking Patron and frying up catfish.
A lil’ dog had a swamp named Mollie’s
It was home to the catfish and creepy-crawlies
Though she was no vamp, all animals loved her,
For when someone was sick or on the brink,
She’d hold up a magical glass of patron for them to drink!
La Guiri Belga:
Once Upon a time… a catfish named Mollie daily got drunk on Patron in her swamp waiting for a fairy tale to happen, until one day she was rescued by a vamp. They lived happily ever after…
Long Life Cats and Dogs:
Vamp Mollie stole Easy
From Litchi, you see,
We’d searched the high-sea
And swamp, if you believe
The catfish negotiated
And said to Litchi, she should pardon
So Litchi, for her friend, drank to Mollie, some Patron.
The Lonely Dogs:
My Dearest Mollie,
Last night in the swamp, I was bitten by a vamp… ire.
For fear of turning you into a monster like me, I can never see you again.
I’ll drown my sorrows in Patron, and remember the sweet smell of your fur.
Hailey and Zaphod:
Mollie knew the best bar to be a patron of tequila and cookies in the Swamp was the Vamp Catfish. The servers all wore awesome bandanas and served the cookies at a reasonable price.
Mollie went looking for Alfie, her cat, in the swamp and found a catfish who sent her to the vamp, who gave her a drink she thought was patron – it was blood and our Mollie puked
Hutch a Good Life:
Oh . . . Miss Mollie,
What can the matter be,
Looks like that Vamp,
Has swallowed a battery,
He’s made the Swamp
Rather more chattery,
And just look at the lights in his hair.
Now . . . he . . . claims it was Patron,
He swears . . . it was too strong Matron,
It’s him mad as a catfish,
Yes they can be really quite nuts.
“A vamp called Mollie
who one time was very angry
‘Cause in the swamp where she lives
There were also a lot of catfish
They stole her precious patron
And drank it all in her kitchen
Now she’s out of tequila
And this vamp doesn’t like cola”
In a swamp that smelt of patron, lived mollie the catfish who was best friends with a vamp(ire) called Tom, who did not like Garlic!!
One dark and storm night, Mollie, the Vamp, was wondering down by the old bald cypress tree deep in the Swamp. Her dinner of Patron (tequila) and Catfish was not sitting well on her emaciated frame. This part of the bayou hadn’t been the same since her best dog, Blue, disappeared last spring. (to be continued…..)
I dug a hole under my fence and went out into the night. I was hungry and my family’s fridge was empty. I knew there must be food somewhere. I headed toward the swamp. A place I was told never to go because alligators live there. I was scared and started humming a vamp to make myself feel better. As I was walking along, my paw struck something solid. I looked down and it was a bottle. It had a label on it – Patron Silver – no good I thought. I’d overheard Mom discussing tequilas one night. She said that the best thing about tequila was the worm at the bottom and the really expensive Patron doesn’t have any – no worm = no protein = no food. I kicked the worthless bottle aside and kept going. Soon I heard the sounds of cicadas, the croak of a catfish being gigged, and the call of a screech owl. I knew I was close to the swamp. I reached the water’s edge. It rippled. A gator was nearby. I backed up quickly hoping to evade the gator’s jaws of death. My butt backed into something. I was trapped! Then I heard the sweetest soft voice – it was my friend Mollie! Mom had called her when she noticed I was missing and Mollie had gone out toward the swamp to look for me. Mollie picked me up – Wow she’s strong! – and carried me home to my pawrents house where she fed me some of her scrumptious doggy treats and I went to sleep with a full tummy.
Nelly and Jasper:
“The catfish, the one they called Mollie, lived a lonely existence in a swamp: a bottle of patron, her only company. To vamp up a friend she sacrificed her only companion; her bottle of patron to entice someone to join her in the swamp. But, it was all in vain for no one came.”