The gift that keeps giving
Habemus Herpes Labialis!
My body is like an atomic clock, I swear to Zeus. Ohhh keep reading or skip to the end, I have news from Rome.
There are things that I always get twice a year at about the same time, the first one in late May-early April and late November-early December is a cute and charming cold sore. I felt it this morning, my lips were really dry and I felt something itching like a little pimple but it felt like burning too, yeah, a cold sore or the H word, the gift that keeps giving.
See, this is what I get for trashing the Pope yesterday, black magic!
@Benedict I got the message, thanks buddy!
This is a stigmata, people will judge me and gossip, call me names and spit on me, curse my family and cover their mouths while hushing me from stores and restaurants. It’s gonna be Compeed and me for at least 3 days, I hope I get to adapt to society again.
I also get 2 colds a year, both during summer, but overall I’m invincible.
The news from Rome, ok. You know The Three Wise Men or The Three Kings? We all know or knew, this is now confusing, that they were from the East. My friends, The Pope announced that they were from Tartessos (modern Andalusia, Spain), basically I’m living from where these 3 men left. But that’s not all, if you were raised Catholic, you’ve seen the nativity scene, there’s always a mule and an ox, now *gasp* mule and ox were fired!! Rumor has it they are feeding lions in the circus now.
I kid you not, all this was revealed in the book Jesus of Nazareth: The Infancy Narratives by Pope Benedict XVI. (Pope was there and he knows all about it, and this book is already part of the Oprah’s book club) Of course, for all of us this will make no difference, it’s like when scientists decided that Pluto was no longer a planet. For all we care, Pluto is and always will be a planet.
I feel sorry for the mule and the ox that are now unemployed, and I wonder how immigration is gonna work for the kings, and what about the quarantine for the camels? Animalcouriers may have to transport them now.