Why is he resigning? I know!
As you know by now, Joe (Pope Benedict for you) and I are best buddies. We are even friends on Twitter.
You may have heard he’s to resign on February 28th. There’s a lot of speculation as to why Joe took that decision. Nobody knows, nobody but me that is, we are BFF.
After The Pope published his book Jesus of Nazareth…. things haven’t been the same in The Vatican. Rumor has it (there’s a lot of hallway gossip there) the Pro-Animal Wing of the Vatican was outraged to learn that The Pope had removed the Mule and the Ox from the Nativity Scene. Even PETA got involved. Those 2 animals have been employees of the church for ages and without notice they got fired. Not only fired but as the Ox said in an interview with Oprah, “This has only one name, and that name is excommunication. We’ve been excommunicated. We are old, we have served this company for centuries and now we are being laid off without benefits.”
Joe called me 3 weeks ago and asked me to send hay and salt to the family of the Ox and Mule. I didn’t question him, when a friend in need asks for a favor you just do it.
I called him once I was done, we had a chat over Skype and he told me “Leo, my man, those animals are taking me down, it was a mistake having them fired. You know I used the Ox crap to burn and keep the mosquitoes out. Now look at my arms, those bugs are eating me alive.”
I suggested he hire them back. He kept silent, checked behind him and closed the door, and told me “Haven’t you heard? The Ox was depressed, couldn’t find a job with his age and jumped in a pot. It was served for lunch 2 weeks ago. And the Mule, well, she walks the streets of Rome now trading sexual favors with horses for hay.”
“You are in deep Ox manure Joe. What you gonna do?” I asked.
“Resign, but please don’t tell anyone,” he said.
“Ok, I won’t talk about it until you do, but can I send you my resume and would you give me a reference letter?”
He looked at me and asked me to call him on the 20th.
There you are. Believe it or not all that happened in my mind. You are reading Leo’s blog today, but in a month this could be the blog of Pope Ceeqle I (that’ll be my Pope name) .