What Travel Guides and Blogs Won’t Tell You Part 2

Did I say that is nice to be back (blogging that is)? Well, that, it’s nice to be back.

What I forgot to mention on yesterday’s post “What Travel Guides and Blogs Won’t Tell You” was probably the most important thing, that you come back BROKE after your vacations and no travel blogger/writer warns you about it when you are planning a nice getaway.  Hence I can’t trash all of my clothes or hire a maid.

Poor? Me? Ha! The very thought!

Poor? Me? Ha! The very thought!

I’ll organize a welcome party so my friends bring food, I’ll tell them drinks will be on me (I’ll pour tequila over my peeling belly bottom and hold a piece of 5 weeks old lime between my dry lips, that’s a drink ON you, isn’t it?).

Body Tequila pics were too naughty for a Tuesday.

Body Tequila pics were too naughty for a Tuesday.

As I’m writing this I realized that this is gonna be the second part of yesterday’s post, yeah, I’ll change the name from “I’m so dirty” to “What Travel Guides and Blogs Won’t Tell You Part 2”. 

Travels guides and blogs helps to travel in a budget, but I refuse to travel in a budget, just imagine, if the plane crashes on your way back home the last place you had a night of sleep was a hostel with bed bugs and lice. So I travel like the trophy wife of an oil tycoon. Alas, I’m not! When I’m away I still gotta pay rent and utilities, but thanks to not reading about it on the travel guides I forget about that little fact, then once I’m back home I’m faced with the reality of life and gotta man up or cry, but regardless of my reaction I still gotta pay.

Is not as bad as they put it

Is not as bad as they put it

It’d be nice if those travel guides would tell put things like this:

 Hotel Nuclear Mushroom 

5 Stars hotel and spa, all commodities, private beach and organized tours. 

Includes personal concierge, chauffeur and secretary. 

$500/ night (Remember, you still got a dog to feed when you get home, are you sure you wanna book it?) 

No, no, I didn’t pay $500/night for a hotel room, my oil tycoon husband is rich but I still take care of what’s gonna be mine once he’s dead, nevertheless, I came back broke, I smuggled some products which I’ll try so sell, but that’s a different post.

And just because I know you are sad that I didn’t write “I’m so dirty” today, I’ll write and post it on Dirty Thursday (another failed section of this blog, you’re welcome)