Who Dresses The Pope?

So there we were, Joe and me enjoying a coffe at the newly renovated Mater Ecclesiae where he is gonna expend the rest os his days.

Joe, enjoying the Italian country side

Joe enjoying the Italian country side

Joe, I said, who dresses the new Pope?
And how do you guys know the correct size of the new pope’s clothes and shoes?
I mean, even shoes!!

He smiled and spat the coffee on my face, called me heretic, called security and I was kicked out the monastery, while Joe kept yelling “this what you get for harassing me on twitter you lifeless moron”.
I’m not a mormon I said.
Moron, you idiot! He sweetly said back to me.

So because Joe, didn’t answer my questions I’m forced to come up with my own explanations, which are equally valid and reliable.

I was going to do a little research but got really tired, but I’ll present you with a few theories, please be my guest and correct any of them by presenting sufficient proof.

First: We all know the church is filthy rich, so it wouldn’t surprise me if they order Mr. Prada to send them 80 pairs of Dorothy Red shoes for all the 80 candidates and do the same with the red cape and all the accessories  but let’s be honest, they like gold more than a rapper. And what about the ring? Is that made on site? Because when he goes to the balcony to say hello he has the ring already.

There's no place like home

There’s no place like home

Second: Do they have elves to make the shoes and clothes on site as soon as they know who the new pope is?

Working Elves during the Conclave

Working Elves during the Conclave

Third: Does the new pope wears the old Pope’s clothes and with some fixed until he has his own done?

There's a problem with used clothes

There’s a problem with used clothes

Fourth: All candidates are require to buy before hand a set of Pope uniform before the conclave just in case they are elected? And if so, does the church refunds them if they are not elected or they can wear those clothes for casual Friday?

A casual dress, like any other

A casual dress, like any other

Fifth: Is the conclave a big get together, a huge party and they fool us into believe that they are actually electing someone when he has been previously elected? This would explain how the new pope gets dressed so quickly.