F Bomb

There’s no better representation of the F Bomb that Doggy’s farts, I swear to Zeus that’s f*cking toxic, some days more than others.

Holy stench Batman!

Holy stench Batman!

This morning we went for a long run, he ate some oranges on the way, we got home he curled next me as usual and started to attack. I swear to you, no flowers were coming out of there.

Flowers from my ass to you!

Flowers from my ass to you!

I found a poem really appropriate for this post, written by Roger Turner

Dog Farts

There just isn’t enough febreeze
to rid the room of the haze
Of a dog fart, strong and silent
It kind of puts you in a daze

It kind of sneaks in, then it hits you
An olfactory h-bomb in your face
Meanwhile, he just lies there
He’s wiped the room with anal mace

There is no middle ground here
They always smell like something died
Like he caught a squirrel in the garden
Now, it’s rotting his insides

Dog farts, are a weapon
That our army has not used
In fact I told them in a letter
In their reply, they were amused

“We’ve tried to duplicate it”
“A killer weapon… stops the heart”
“But, our scientists just aren’t able”
“To reproduce a strong dog fart”

“Thank you for your consideration”
“We’ll let you know, if we succeed”
“We agree with your kind letter”
“dog farts escape and then they breed”

Sometimes when a dog farts
It makes a noise, he turns around
“my god, I smell incredible”
is the look comes from my hound

So, if you’ve never smelled a dog fart
And your dog just sneaks one out
Do yourself a favour
Do not feed him brussel sprouts.