Is my husband a flamboyant homo?
As you all know this is pride month, the month where gays and lesbians remember that riot in Stonewall, and Silvia Rae Rivera, who refused to sit on the back of the bumper.
In honor of all of those who paved the way, I’m gonna share with you something of extreme importance.
How to know if your husband of 10, 20, 30, 40 years is a homosexual?
This research is 100% accurate, thanks to it Michelle Bachmann found out that Marcus Bachmann was gay. Fortunately for her, he had the cure so he cured himself.
Thanks to Christ Wire for this gem!
So let’s get to it:
1) Secretive late night use of cellphones and computers
Nothing screams HOMO like using the cellphone past dinner time, and if your husband uses the computer right after checking his cellphone, the signs are even stronger, so don’t ignore it!
2) Looks at other men in a flirtatious way
Is your husband watching games but forgets the score or who is playing?
Ladies, he’s checking out the ass and bulges of the players. Flip the channel to Life or Oxygen, let the healing begin.
3) Feigning attention in church and prayer groups
Saying things like, “Honey, forgot the Bible,” or misquoting the part in Leviticus where it talks about gay marriage, it’s an obvious sign of homosexuality.
4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home
“Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell.”
Simply, if he doesn’t stink he’s a homo!
5) Gym membership but no interest in sports
Refer to number 2, ladies, he’s looking for trouble! Mark your man, homos are at large.
6) Clothes that are too tight and too “trendy”
“Gay men don’t need words to communicate their availability for sex “hook ups.”
If a guy uses tights to run, it means he wants it up the butt. If he wears a tight t-shirt it means he wants to give a bj, it’s obvious isn’t it?
7) Strange sexual demands
If your man asks you for any other position than “missionary”, he’s a homo.
8) More interested in the men than the women in pornographic films
Remember cellphone and computer usage? Need I say more?
Ask what color shoes the actress was wearing and if the necklace were real pearls or not once the movie is over. If he fails to answer, it means he’s a homo.
9) Travels frequently to big cities or Asia
“Is there ever really a good excuse for a husband to visit Thailand or San Francisco without his wife?” (this is the best lol)
No, there isn’t! Thailand is the place to go for sex exchange and San Francisco, well, you know.
10) Too many friendly young male friends
“Someone who makes an extra effort to surround themselves with younger men should raise concerns in any community.”
Of course this doesn’t apply to youth pastors, if your man is not a youth pastor and yet is surrounded by younger men, watch out, he’s a homo.
11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends
“A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities”. Men should be dry humored at all times, if they are not, they are homos!
12) Love of pop culture
If he can name at least one movie featuring Keanu Reeves other than Matrix, he’s clearly a homo.
13) Extroverted about his bare chest in public
“Does he go shirtless in the back yard or at picnics when other men are around?”
Men should always wear a t-shirt (not tight) even if they are having a pool party and are working on the bbq under a 120 degree sun. If they don’t, they are homos.
14) Sudden heavy drinking
Well, I thought this was more like an alcoholic thing, but of course, gay is evil, so yeah, if he drinks martinis he’s a flaming gay!
15) Ladies, have you dated men in the past who turned out to be gay?
Then the problem is you, you are turning men gay!
You may read the original article here: Is My Husband GAY?