Ring * Ring * Ring
-Miss Peach: You gotta come here! You need to do something!
-Me: What happened? What’s the matter?
-MP: I have shit all over me!!
A client had me on hold when Miss Peach called me, but I could tell she was upset by the sound of her voice.
-Me: Wait, I’ll call you back in a second.
I hung up with the client and called her back.
-Me: What’s up?
-MP: I hate Doggy, I have his shit all over me! You gotta come and take him, I hate your dog.
I had to hold the laugh.
-Me: What you mean?
-MP: He’s crazy, I can’t control him. He shit in the middle of the street, the poo bag I took had a hole and when I was picking it up he pulled on the leash, all the shit came out of the bag, over my shorts, legs and shoes and of course, my hands are covered in shit. In the fucking middle of the street!!
I was already laughing. I knew she was pissed, she’s a good Christian and never curses, but she was cursing more than I do.
-Me: Calm down, I can’t go. I’m at work.
We were supposed to have breakfast together.
-MP: Gosh I hate your dog!
Minutes later she walked in my office, visibly upset. She let Doggy go, I called him and he curled up underneath my desk like the good dog he is.
I took a look at Miss Peach, she was covered in shit, her shoes, hers legs and her shorts.
She was as red as a pale human can be. I was laughing really hard, it was a hilarious situation.
I could picture her picking up after Doggy and then all the crap flying around, hitting her nice blue shorts and nice blue shoes.
It wasn’t funny for her, but she’ll get over it, it’s puppy love I told her.
She wasn’t buying it, but hey! Shit happens.
Editor’s note: Excuse my French, but somehow the “shittyness” of the situation isn’t apparent the way Leo tells it. Since the day I arrived I have refused to pick up Doggy’s shit, and there I was covered in it and surrounded by more people than everyone in Ginger Robins together. The good news is that I taught the passersby a handful of four-letter English words that will be useful in all kinds of situations.