That Awful Sound

It’s agreed that our parents have never had sex, right?
The mere thought of our parents sexing up makes us cringe, right?

It's on the bible, even Jesus knew his mother never did IT.

It’s on the bible, even Jesus knew his mother never did IT.

But I wanna ask all of you, parents with masturbating teens, what does it feel like to when you know your baby boy or girl is pleasuring him/herself?
Do not take me wrong, I don’t wanna know dirty details, I just wanna know if I’m not alone in all this.
See, my dog masturbates.
I know it sounds, sick, but I can hear him.
He goes under the bed and touches himself, I can hear him licking himself.

Dog is watching "Bitches Gone Wild. Featuring Mollie and Misaki"

Dog is watching “Bitches Gone Wild. Featuring Mollie and Misaki”

I try to ignore it, I tune the volume of the TV up and watch my Golden Girls, but I can’t help it, that sounds it’s awful.
I had dogs before, but they never slept inside the house, they had their own place.
I didn’t know dogs masturbated, how naive!
I’ve been debating about this post for the longest time, but a few days ago Miss Peach was petting Doggy, he turned his belly up to get a belly rub,  Miss Peach touched a lot of stiff/dirty hair the day after his groomer appointment and asked why?

Bad Doggy, bad Doggy!

Bad Doggy, bad Doggy!

“You don’t wanna know what that is.” – I sad, while doing the typical wanking motion with my hand.
“You are disgusting Leo!!”– Said Miss Peach.
“Well, how you explain that THAT is the only place where his hair is messy then?” – I asked.
She said nothing, just stopped petting Doggy.
After an exhausting research on google, and over reading the preview of all answers Google gives you when you ask “Do dogs masturbate?”
I can conclude that, nobody knows, some say yes, some say no.
I read that if your dog humps you once or twice a day and you don’t mind, you should let him release himself on your leg.
But if you ask me, that just gross and if you dog tries to hump you, he should at least pay for dinner.